Inviting God In

There is something so special about hearing something in church that just penetrates deep into your soul.

Today that happened.

I was so excited this morning to go to church. Every third week is a time called “A space for women,” where any woman can meet downstairs with others and share about life, read a devotion or Scripture together and share on that in some way.

Today the woman who set up this group meeting wrote a little devotion about what she has been feeling God say to her, and that phase was, “Don’t Waste.”

Her message was to not waste the moments that we tend to feel useless, because God wants to be invited in to them. I want to share with you a little bit of what she wrote –
“Every feeling, experience, hurt, struggle, disappointment, frustration, worry, is an opportunity, and invitation to God; inviting Him right into the middle of it. These places are often the dark places of our souls, and yet the very places into which God desires to bring His loving light. He wants to enter into these inner spaces of our lives, and show us that His loving light bring gifts of revelation, understanding, freedom, and wisdom.
You will notice that certain emotions, lack of forgiveness, and judgements, are barriers to loving others. When you become aware of these ways within you, invite Jesus in. Invite Him right into the middle and let Him begin to unravel, release, show you why it is there and what it has done to you. Spending time communing with God’s Spirit around those dark and miserable moments bring relief and forgiveness, and showers you with grace, mercy, peace, and love.”

After the devotion was finished, we were asked to share if we could identify a way that we feel God asking for an invitation into our lives for healing, for light to be brought forth, for comfort and peace.

I really couldn’t think of anything..but as it was my turn to share, words just flowed out of my mouth. I started sharing about something that I didn’t necessarily intend to share about.
I shared how I am feeling uncomfortable. For most people who could be reading this, we are around the same age – early 20s. I’m 22 and married and every single year up until now has been planned out for me, even since I was a little girl. You go through elementary school, middle school, high school, and college. New year, new grade. Then I got engaged, then I got married and moved away and everything happened to me in 2016.

And now it is 2017. And nothing is happening this year. Nothing is planned to happen at all.

So I feel strange in this year of nothingness.

I shared about this on a previous blog post, but I am what I call a “change junkie.” I just absolutely love change. Because its something new, something to look forward to, and it usually gives me that temporary feeling of joy and excitement, but it will go away, and so I look for something else that can change. So you can image how weird I feel when I can see that nothing is changing this year. 
(That I can foresee)

And so as I am sharing this I say, “So I think God is telling me so stop, to invite Him into this uncomfortable place of being still and learning that I don’t need change to feel joy, because when things change, I want to control them, I don’t let God control them, so I think God is telling me to just listen to what He has to tell me in my uncomfortableness, and make decisions and trust that He will go with them in them.”

God talked to me in that moment – The Spirit spoke through me and I heard God this morning.
And then of course I leave the meeting and my mind starts doubting and goes to, “Well how do I make decisions for myself in a way that pleases God and is in His will.”
And the sermon starts.
And the sermon was all about making decisions.
And towards the end of the sermon Matt said these words –
“The moment when you are frozen in fear is the moment when Satan wins.”
This dug deep, deep into my soul.

Yes, making decisions is hard. Its hard because we sit and sit and sit with, “What about this, or this, or is this God’s will, no that’s too hard, God’s will probably wouldn’t be that, how sure do I have to be that its God’s will before I actually do it?”

Isn’t it exhausting? I know it is because I go through these questions in my head every day and it just leaves me frustrated and bitter because I want God to be a little bit clearer and a whole lot louder.

We don’t hear a straight up answer so we are afraid to make a decision. We are frozen, and the longer we stay frozen the more unhappy we become and Satan sees that ice and does everything he can to add more and more.

Today I learned that we can make decisions, yes people, we can make decisions.
God will be with us in whatever decision we make.

This year to me looks like nothing, but I can decide to do something new and I’m not sure what that is but I do know that whether God is clear about something or not, in any decision, He will be there, and He already is making this year into something special.

I can just ramble on and on about this but I just want to end with another thing that was said today during the sermon –
“Many times our prayers are filled with requests for the concrete details, as we ask for God to meet the who, the what, the when, the where. The larger Biblical story shows a God who is largely concerned with the how and why.”

How are we loving others, how are we serving Gods Kingdom.

Why are we doing this, are we doing this for self-gratification or to serve God and bring His message of love to His people.

Keep breaking the ice, keep making decisions and trusting that God is a God who does not change, but changes everything else even if we can’t see it. He is constant and stays constant through every decision you make. He just wants to be invited into the space you are in, even if its messy. He already knows! He just wants to be there anyway 


Popular posts from this blog

February Fun

Finding God in One Another

Building with Expectation